The other day, my husband said, “You know, when we move, we won’t need any boxes…we can just pack everything in your tote bags.” I looked around the room and had to agree. I could easily start my own bag kiosk at the mall. People are constantly telling me that I have a bag problem. My response is always that I can quit bags anytime.
After giving this some additional thought, I realized that I don’t have a BAG problem, I have a FEIS problem. There is just too much stuff I need to bring to be the ‘Perfectly Prepared Feis Mom’ (PPFM) and I can’t get a system down that doesn’t involve looking like the Beverly Hillbillies. At a recent Feis, you could buy a tee shirt with an image of a Feis Mom lugging five suitcases and four tote bags. I honestly thought that someone had snapped a photo of me and shaded it in (with a smaller butt).
That is when it hit me! I need a Sherpa!! No, I’m not climbing Mt. Everest, but a Sherpa could lug everything in and claim a chunk of real estate at the Feis (would I need my own flag?). A Sherpa could install shelving in my claimed space so that I could instantly find the E6000 and Costco-size tub of bobby pins. Sadly, I realized that I had blown my Sherpa budget on the latest solo dress. So I went back to the drawing board to delve into what might work within the budget of a PPFM.
Then I used my family connections and called NASA to get their take on traveling light while still including everything a PPFM must have. Apparently, rockets headed to space have less stuff than what I take to a Feis. They just didn’t understand having to pack sock glue and two wigs. Talk about your awkward conversation!
Not to be discouraged, and knowing necessity is the mother of invention, I continued to ponder what would help and I think I have the solution. Forget the expanding duffel on wheels, forget matching tote bags – I need a Who Hut.
Think Dr. Seuss meets Bass Pro Shop. A veritable Irish dancing biosphere-type dwelling to meet all needs – camping chair, changing tent, shelves and clearly labeled bins. No more lugging ten suitcases like a mere Muggle only to buy duct tape in a panic. I’m envisioning a steamer trunk on wheels that unfolds into a tent complete with a hair salon chair, a mini fridge, and lots of counter space. Just be there when the doors open and stake out a big area with an electrical outlet (for the blender, of course).
The Who Hut is sure to be a hit with the Feis mom who doubles as a pack mule, cafeteria lady, makeup artist, and lady’s maid. Everything needed will automagically unfold and fall into place – just picture Things 1 & 2 from The Cat in the Hat. When you are ready to leave, push a button and the Who Hut folds up again ready for the next Feis. I haven’t quite worked out all of the kinks, but I’m filing for a patent next week. I can’t wait to relax in my Who Hut with a nice fruity drink and listen to ten hours of accordion music. Please feel free to stop by if you need anything.